This thread was prompted by a Facebook exchange I had with a good friend of mine and his friends. He shared a post addressing (what I now understand to be) Cardi B’s new single and the negative press it’s been getting. The post has since been removed, but here is what was shared:
So my response was:
“I don’t understand some of this...am I old?
Also: for the parts I do understand: Not all men.”
I caught a lot of flack for that. Basically, I was told I was missing the point. I argued that it isn’t productive to lump all men into this attitude, that it makes men defensive and not listen to the point. I said, I am not that way, I didn’t raise my son to be that way and I call it out the few times I’ve directly observed it. Further, I argued that this kind of stereotyping isn’t acceptable when we do it to blacks and Latinos (racial profiling, calling black men thugs, Mexican immigrants are rapists and murderers, etc). I was called a mysoginist, told I missed the point, told that I was letting my ego and guilt do the talking, etc.
So I stepped back and had a long conversation with my wife and she helped me see where I went wrong here and the larger issues. Basically (and I can go into more detail if you want),my wife pointed out that even if I am not that way myself I still exhibit that attitude. She used a real life example. She was fundamentally right. I went back and apologized for not listening and not seeing the larger issue. Crisis averted and I was thanked for stepping back and talking to a woman I trust and for being willing to learn.
I wasn’t going to belabor the point after that, but I think my fundamental argument was sound. I do believe that lumping all men into the misogynist category is fundamentally wrong. We hear “Not all black people.” “Not all Mexican immigrants.” Those statements are not viewed as controversial. Our society is wrong for viewing every black man as a potential thug and every Mexican immigrant as a potential rapist/murderer. I believe it’s equally wrong to see every man as a misogynist.
So where am I going wrong here, if I am. I want to understand this better. Wouldn’t it be more productive to recognize that Not All Men are actually misogynists, that most men see themselves as trying to do better and that men will better listen to patient explanations (my wife) as opposed to insults and negative stereotypes (the Facebook crowd)?
So my response was:
“I don’t understand some of this...am I old?
Also: for the parts I do understand: Not all men.”
I caught a lot of flack for that. Basically, I was told I was missing the point. I argued that it isn’t productive to lump all men into this attitude, that it makes men defensive and not listen to the point. I said, I am not that way, I didn’t raise my son to be that way and I call it out the few times I’ve directly observed it. Further, I argued that this kind of stereotyping isn’t acceptable when we do it to blacks and Latinos (racial profiling, calling black men thugs, Mexican immigrants are rapists and murderers, etc). I was called a mysoginist, told I missed the point, told that I was letting my ego and guilt do the talking, etc.
So I stepped back and had a long conversation with my wife and she helped me see where I went wrong here and the larger issues. Basically (and I can go into more detail if you want),my wife pointed out that even if I am not that way myself I still exhibit that attitude. She used a real life example. She was fundamentally right. I went back and apologized for not listening and not seeing the larger issue. Crisis averted and I was thanked for stepping back and talking to a woman I trust and for being willing to learn.
I wasn’t going to belabor the point after that, but I think my fundamental argument was sound. I do believe that lumping all men into the misogynist category is fundamentally wrong. We hear “Not all black people.” “Not all Mexican immigrants.” Those statements are not viewed as controversial. Our society is wrong for viewing every black man as a potential thug and every Mexican immigrant as a potential rapist/murderer. I believe it’s equally wrong to see every man as a misogynist.
So where am I going wrong here, if I am. I want to understand this better. Wouldn’t it be more productive to recognize that Not All Men are actually misogynists, that most men see themselves as trying to do better and that men will better listen to patient explanations (my wife) as opposed to insults and negative stereotypes (the Facebook crowd)?
via International Skeptics Forum https://ift.tt/2Q3uKAD
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