Departure Date Mystery

I went to a web page and instead of getting the content I expected, I got this.

Quote:

Departure Date The numbers tattooed behind my right ear are the envy of every party, a signifier that I know more of my fate than every generation that ever lived and expired before. (The font, Albertus, looks cool too, I guess.) It's nice to have an icebreaker, though in truth, I wish I didn't possess the sobering knowledge the numbers convey: That I will surely die on April 4th. April 4th is my Departure Date. The year is indeterminate. Might be this year. Might be thirty years. The swab and algorithm can only predict which day of which month ... but with 98% accuracy. Study after study has validated this impossibility. Science continues to throw up its hands. Religion shrugs. What is the connection between saliva and temporal time? Who knows, but as the billboards say, "Swab Don't Lie!" That catchphrase is mine. Proved to be a big hit, too. I've heard it parroted on late-night talk shows and spun into memes. My company sells a host of Departure Date services for which I supply snappy copy. For varying fees you can learn the date, or get it printed on a shirt, pillow, or scroll. Our most popular option – the one I regret drunkenly allowing last summer – are tattoos. Pay upfront, get swabbed, await your result, and then ink your obsolescence. Parents are horrified, but then they've never understood. Crucially, the kids love us. (By the way, I wanted to call it Death Date but got outvoted. A fan petition sought to name our discovery Death Clock. Sorry, kids.)

And it goes on from there. It looks like a passage from a science fiction book.
Does anyone recognize this passage and know the name of the author?

via International Skeptics Forum https://ift.tt/qQDxWOG