mercredi 19 octobre 2022

[Split From] Bad ideas in military history

If this goes on . . .

Loss of the USS George Floyd (LCS-77; pronouns “it”, “its”)

The new Littoral Combat Ship George Floyd was lost on its initial voyage. The ship was an innovative new venture for the Navy, being built of renewable materials and powered by green technologies.

A fire broke out in the galley half an hour after the ship had unmoored and put to sea, where cooks were preparing the midday meal of vegetarian soup. In spite of the efforts of crew, the fire spread. The water pump was swollen and did not function. This meant that the only facilities available were two buckets in the head, which had to be cleansed by an environmentally friendly and non-polluting method before being employed for other use.

The ship’s captain, Lieutenant Commander Ugrazeem Nogariel (pronouns “tey”, “teyrs”) a nullo who had served with distinction as a Diversity Officer, and identifies as a sea creature, took immediate steps to resolve the situation. Tey took the tiki-icon of George Floyd and swam to shore.

Due to white-supremacist caused lack of environmentally friendly public transport, the captain was forced to carry the icon on foot to Naval District Headquarters. At present tey is in a Safe Space recovering from the stress of the effort.

Chef Diversity Officer Salacan Maffea (pronouns “ze”, “zeir”), a genderqueer allosexual who identifies as a beche-de-mer, continued the ongoing session of diversity training with the second watch until the ship sank.

The crew continued to fight the fire until it burned through the supports of the mast, which fell. The sails, of renewable hemp, took fire and spread it to the upperworks, while the mast destroyed the solar panels and broke off the wind turbine at the stern.

The crew abandoned ship and attempted to reach safety. The Navy Department has firmly denied that the lack of life jackets, which had been withdrawn to permit the replacement of artificial non-renewable flotation material and kapok from endangered species, had any connection to the death by drowning of several crew.

The Navy Department Board of Inquiry is expected to blame the disaster on global warming, white supremacy, and Donald Trump.


via International Skeptics Forum https://ift.tt/oNhbBdQ

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