Recently I met someone I did not know very well (a friend of a friend) for coffee. We were having a normal conversation, easy back and forth, joking, sharing our opinions on current events, pop culture, etc for about 45 mins.
Somehow the topic of marriage came up and we were batting around reasons that people get married. After some things like taxes and kids, she said 'Some people get married for religious reasons and you have to respect that.'
I (admittedly somewhat flippantly, but this was a casual, breezy conversation up to that point) said 'No I don't'. She opened her eyes wider, put her hands on the table, leaned forward and said 'Yes, you absolutely do.'
I said that I disagreed and that maybe we need to define terms a bit. What exactly does she mean by respect? Her answer was 'Well, you don't go around picking fights about it'. I maintained that I felt there was a wide chasm between picking fights and respecting something, with lots of grey area in between.
She then said respecting means you honor it. I asked what does honor mean? What does it look like to honor something? Suddenly this well versed, witty woman was flustered and could not speak a coherent sentence. I explained that in my mind, to honor something would be like declaring a holiday, naming a street, or building a statue, and I certainly don't feel that way towards any religion.
She said I was describing 'public honor' and she was talking about 'personal honor'. So I asked how one displays personal honor. By this point she was shaking a bit and said 'I'm not religious but you've gotten extremely defensive since religion was brought up.' At that point I excused myself as gently and politely as I could. We probably will not be having more conversations.
I'm curious as to what anyone else's views are on 'you have to respect' religion/religious beliefs/religious reasons, etc. Am I off-base here? Is 'respecting' something just not doing anything disagreeable towards it?
Somehow the topic of marriage came up and we were batting around reasons that people get married. After some things like taxes and kids, she said 'Some people get married for religious reasons and you have to respect that.'
I (admittedly somewhat flippantly, but this was a casual, breezy conversation up to that point) said 'No I don't'. She opened her eyes wider, put her hands on the table, leaned forward and said 'Yes, you absolutely do.'
I said that I disagreed and that maybe we need to define terms a bit. What exactly does she mean by respect? Her answer was 'Well, you don't go around picking fights about it'. I maintained that I felt there was a wide chasm between picking fights and respecting something, with lots of grey area in between.
She then said respecting means you honor it. I asked what does honor mean? What does it look like to honor something? Suddenly this well versed, witty woman was flustered and could not speak a coherent sentence. I explained that in my mind, to honor something would be like declaring a holiday, naming a street, or building a statue, and I certainly don't feel that way towards any religion.
She said I was describing 'public honor' and she was talking about 'personal honor'. So I asked how one displays personal honor. By this point she was shaking a bit and said 'I'm not religious but you've gotten extremely defensive since religion was brought up.' At that point I excused myself as gently and politely as I could. We probably will not be having more conversations.
I'm curious as to what anyone else's views are on 'you have to respect' religion/religious beliefs/religious reasons, etc. Am I off-base here? Is 'respecting' something just not doing anything disagreeable towards it?
via JREF Forum http://forums.randi.org/showthread.php?t=270510&goto=newpost
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