Finally we know why we need more guns!

As a good old gun hater I sometimes find myself at a loss wondering why guns are even needed. Surely we aren't facing an uprising of tin cans or terminator squirrels. Or even terminator tin cans. Then someone like Larry Pratt, the executive director of Gun Owners of America, just illuminates the great need for guns. On his Gun Owners News Hour (You don't listen to it? Do you hate the constitution?) he was talking with right wing author Lawrence Mackin. He wrote a book called The Police Revolt of 2016. The following is from the actual Amazon synopsis.

Quote:

The Police Revolt of 2016 is an action packed, fast paced story of a diverse group of patriotic police officers, federal agents and military personnel whose lives become entwined through their efforts to uphold their oaths to defend the Constitution of The United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic. They begin to organize as the United States military is systematically weakened and downsized by Obama. As events unfold, they realize that the country is in much greater danger than they ever imagined. More and more police officers are murdered, and police survivors are investigated by Obama's Justice Department for defending themselves. While police are being persecuted by the media across the country, The Sons and Daughters of Liberty discover that there is a parallel revolution being planned from inside the White House itself. A group of radical Islamists allied with Obama's private internal army composed of units from the Department of Homeland Security and FEMA, are planning to establish an Islamic dictatorship within the United States.

Heck, what is at all unrealistic about Obama leading an army of Islamists in a crusade to kill police officers and create a Muslim dictatorship? I mean Amazon reviewer David Surrette gave it five stars and noted "The story is fast and accurate. It depicts todays geo political events as many Americans see them. If you are a flag and freedom loving citizen... this book is for you".

See, if you hate this book you hate flags and freedom. I rather like freedom but could do without flags. I guess I'd only give it three stars then.

So, this Mackin guy and Larry Pratt sat down to discuss their mutual love of Downton Abbey, freedom and opposing that scoundrel Obama. One of those items I may have made up. They agreed that the best way to oppose all the evil things Obama is planning is to kill him with kindness, love and understanding. Only instead of kindness, love and understanding, they'd use guns. South Park is never not relevant.

And of course they'd need all sorts of kindness, love and understanding guns. I mean Mackin has a pretty solid case. For example he told Pratt that Obama had signed a deal with Russia “to bring Soviet troops into this country in the event that we needed extra security, such as a Super Bowl event, for example". I would think most soldiers that served in the Soviet army would be a little old by now but be sure to look for them protecting Coldplay when that Super Bowl thingy happens. That won't in any way be weird.

What isn't weird is that alongside the geriatric Soviet shock troops will be hordes of illegal aliens. It seems that picking tomatoes in the California sun was all just a Mr Miyagi stealth training regimen designed to turn them into a crack military force that Obama will lead from inside his volcano lair.

And because Mackin has never come across a Snopes rumor he didn't implicitly think was actually true he also noted that Obama had personally authorized the importation of military age, male Muslim refugees from all over the Middle East via channels that bypass all background checks.

But you remain unconvinced? Well Mackin isn't done. He also brings news personally conveyed to him by evil Spock with the goatee that Janet Napolitano was on record...somewhere...about wanting to buy every federal employee an AR-15 so they could join Obama's ragtag personal army of old Soviet men, Mexican illegals and Islamic radicals.

And why are Islamic radicals working with Obama? Well, says Mackin, that is because America will have nuked Israel. And that is because Obama struck a deal with Iran which says America nukes Israel if Israel attacks Iran. Because of course this happened and somehow it was never documented or even makes sense.

We should believe Mackin, said Mackin, because this is all the stuff the Obama administration is already doing, says Mackin. Remember it isn't a lie if he thinks it is true.

So, does Pratt denounce these ideas? Does he steer things back to something resembling reality? Does the weight of being the executive of an influential gun lobby group make him realize he needs to keep things tempered and restrained? Or does he just go completely along with all these ideas and offer up his reasoned analysis that it is all completely believable?

Of course he did the last thing: “...as much as the president has tried to cull the military of senior officers who are known to be pro-American … he certainly hasn’t gotten them all...”

One little thought to help you stay up at night. The Gun Owners of America is coordinating with Ted Cruz on a 2nd Amendment Coalition. Whatever that is.

And there you have it folks. We have to arm ourselves because if we don't we'll have Muslim Hispanic Soviet soldiers telling us to pray to Mecca under orders from President For Life Obama. Or, you know, to protect us from all the Pratts and Mackins of the world. Wait....does this mean I'm now pro gun?

via International Skeptics Forum http://ift.tt/1TEs0Dk