mardi 19 mai 2015

Age-difference in sexual relationships - why the taboo?

A couple of days ago i read about the controversy about how a 17 year old bride was getting married in Chechnya and this guardian article summarizes why this generated controversy:

Quote:

A Chechen police chief married a 17-year-old at the weekend despite a growing outcry over claims that the teenager had been forced to wed the man, who has another wife and is thought to be three times her age.
In a sense it's about three issues:
  • The fact that the bride was "only" 17 years old and the groom was apparently around double her age.
  • The bride and her family was allegedly threatened into going through with the marriage against their wishes. I haven't really read too deeply about those allegations but they might be credible.
  • Although Russian Federal law, which has precedence over regional/republic law, puts the "marriageable age" at 18 it still allows those over 16 to marry in certain cases. What Russian federal law clearly does not allow is bigamy. Despite that even the infamous local ruler Ramzan Kadyrov publicly approved and supported the marriage thus being one of countless examples of how Chechnya is effectively Kadyrovs own private fiefdom which he can rule as he sees fit with few limits.

Although the two latter points are in my opinion the really problematic ones it's the former i wanted to discuss.

Essentially this Guardian article makes an issue of the age difference between those in the relationship despite the fact that according to Russian law it's perfectly legal to both have sex and marry, in certain cases, those over the age of 16. It doesn't explain why it's somehow bad for a 17 year old to get married with someone who is "twice their age" but it still presents it as something important. That is not say that getting married at the age of 17, even under other circumstances, is something that should be encouraged nor that there aren't good arguments against allowing that.

The same-thing happened when Stephen Fry got married a while ago. Although most of the media still made sure to mention how Fry, who is 57 years old, was getting married to Elliott Spencer, aged 27, the leftist gay-loving media of course didn't make that much of an issue about the age difference. However right-wing populist rags like the Daily Mail and others put huge emphasis one how Fry was marrying someone more than half their own age and insinuated how it was something "creepy" and "scandalous".

Thus the question: why, even when it's perfectly okay according to relevant laws and regulations, do so many people find it objectionable whenever there's a noticeable age difference in a sexual relationship? Why do so many people demand that other people adhere to someone else's arbitrary standards of what an "acceptable" relationship is?

In Sweden this taboo is often brought up when someone is accused of being "gubbsjuk" which would literally mean something like "old mans sickness" in English and it refers to when someone older (maybe like 40-50+) hits on and is intimate with noticeably younger women.


via International Skeptics Forum http://ift.tt/1c2tKGi

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