As the library gets ready for an upgrade and renovation, we are grooming our collection for a move and RFID chipping (for the books, not the librarians). I am at the moment exploring our ethics collection and came across a new concept, books on ethical wills. I didn’t actually read the books, although I did read a blurb, but it got me to thinking. Which of my ethics would I feel most important to pass on to my grandnephews and nieces? There are seven children in that generation so far, ages 4-11, with the promise of more to come eventually, and I love them all so dearly, but have very little to offer them outside of time and love. Those four who live out of town don’t get even that much time. If I died tomorrow, what of myself could I leave? So here goes a rough draft to get me started.
* * * * * *
I, LibraryLady, being of sound mind and sense of humor, do hereby bequeath these notions to my most beloved, Eliot, Matthew, Myer, Bennie, Zack, Hannah, and those who come after them.
Kindness
[I’ve written about kindness elsewhere, but for the youngsters:]
Remember that there are two types of kindness, passive and active. One asks you not to do something, the other asks you to do something.
For passive kindness, remember to be proud of who and what you are and allow others to do the same thing. When you make other people feel stupid or as if they are not as good as you at something, you are not making yourself look better, you are making yourself look mean. Remember to share, and by sharing I mean to remember that other people have needs. When you return a library book late or not at all, someone else can’t share it. When you litter, someone else can’t enjoy the pretty view or the clean street. Don’t make false promises which might seem kind, but which just make people feel bad when they don’t come true. You might be too young to understand this now, but remember that the meanest unmeant words in the English language (or in Malayalam) are “I’ll call you.”
For active kindness, remember to step up when you see something wrong. If it is something that a grown-up should handle, go get a grown-up. Don’t wait for another kid to do it. When you read history books, they will probably not tell you this, but history is changed not by famous leaders but by individual people who decide to do the right thing. And by people who do not make this decision and let bad things keep happening. Don’t wait for someone to tell you to do what you know is right, just go ahead and do it. If you see someone getting bullied, if you see someone steal, if you hear someone telling a lie about another person, say or do something. And most importantly, if you have a choice between being nice and being mean, choose to be nice.
Privacy
In this electronic age a concept that has been lost is privacy. There are some things that really should not be shared or at least should not be shared by the whole world. Before you put any words, pictures, or deeds (such as cyberbullying or lies) online, ask yourself if you want your parents, your teachers, or the kids you will meet next year to see them. If you hesitate even a little while thinking about that, don’t do it. That picture of yourself in your undies, that lie about that mean kid down the block will come back to haunt you. I promise.
Respect other people’s privacy as well. You do not have the right to know everything about anyone, even your very best friend or your brother or sister. Everyone has the right to keep something to him or herself, unless keeping it a secret will hurt someone else or allow something bad to keep happening.
Learning
Never, ever stop learning. You will find that learning is not something that happens in a classroom. The classroom is where you learn how to learn. Every book you read for fun, everything that happens to you, everything you do or watch others do, and everything happening in the world every day has something to teach you. Take the time and thought to figure out what you have learned and remember it. It will come in unbelievably handy later on.
Courage
Just like with kindness, there are two types of courage, this time, physical and moral. The second one is a lot harder but also a lot more important. Physical courage is about what you do with your body. Try to exceed what you think you can do, run faster than you think you can, climb higher, last longer. Don’t be afraid of some pain, but listen to it. Pain is your body telling you that you have pushed hard enough. But each time you push, the pain starts a little later.
Moral courage involves kindness, but also doing things that make you uncomfortable in your mind rather than your body. If you say something that you know to be right but other people think is wrong, they will try to change your mind. For instance, if there is a kid in your class who is very different from the others and the other kids make fun of him for it, you know that is wrong, and you can say so. They will laugh at you, and it will hurt, but you will be right. And the hurt that you feel will be a little less each time you practice this. Another way you can show moral courage is to admit when you are wrong. Stubbornly insisting you are correct, even when you begin to know you are wrong, might feel like you are defending yourself, but you are actually defending a wrong idea. Wrong ideas are responsible for a lot of bad things in the world. Start practicing now. When you realize you are wrong, just say so, and move on. It actually makes you look stronger in the long run.
Common sense
The problem with common sense is that it is so very uncommon. Every day, people do things that they might not have done if they had stopped to think about it for a minute. Drunk driving falls into this category, but you are still too young to make this mistake. Very simply, do not do things that put you or other people in danger. Rock climbing with adults, wearing your harness, and with safety rules is wonderful. Doing it alone, without proper equipment, and where no one will see you is just plain stupid. Persuading your friends to do dangerous things is actually worse. You would be responsible for his or her death or injury, and you would feel bad for the rest of your life. It’s easier to use your common sense.
Saving your money, within reason, is also part of common sense. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t treat yourself to something really cool once in a while. You need to have fun and have a certain number of really cool things. But if you spend all of your money on cool stuff, when you need it for something really important, it won’t be there. Once it’s gone, it’s gone, and it will take a long time to save it again. Have fun, but use your common sense. And remember to save some to put in the tzedakah box.
* * * * * * *
First draft. It gives me something to think about and to work on this coming winter. I imagine I’ll revise it as the kids grow, add new ideas and change the language. If you have some ethics you would like to pass to the next few generations, please share.
* * * * * *
I, LibraryLady, being of sound mind and sense of humor, do hereby bequeath these notions to my most beloved, Eliot, Matthew, Myer, Bennie, Zack, Hannah, and those who come after them.
Kindness
[I’ve written about kindness elsewhere, but for the youngsters:]
Remember that there are two types of kindness, passive and active. One asks you not to do something, the other asks you to do something.
For passive kindness, remember to be proud of who and what you are and allow others to do the same thing. When you make other people feel stupid or as if they are not as good as you at something, you are not making yourself look better, you are making yourself look mean. Remember to share, and by sharing I mean to remember that other people have needs. When you return a library book late or not at all, someone else can’t share it. When you litter, someone else can’t enjoy the pretty view or the clean street. Don’t make false promises which might seem kind, but which just make people feel bad when they don’t come true. You might be too young to understand this now, but remember that the meanest unmeant words in the English language (or in Malayalam) are “I’ll call you.”
For active kindness, remember to step up when you see something wrong. If it is something that a grown-up should handle, go get a grown-up. Don’t wait for another kid to do it. When you read history books, they will probably not tell you this, but history is changed not by famous leaders but by individual people who decide to do the right thing. And by people who do not make this decision and let bad things keep happening. Don’t wait for someone to tell you to do what you know is right, just go ahead and do it. If you see someone getting bullied, if you see someone steal, if you hear someone telling a lie about another person, say or do something. And most importantly, if you have a choice between being nice and being mean, choose to be nice.
Privacy
In this electronic age a concept that has been lost is privacy. There are some things that really should not be shared or at least should not be shared by the whole world. Before you put any words, pictures, or deeds (such as cyberbullying or lies) online, ask yourself if you want your parents, your teachers, or the kids you will meet next year to see them. If you hesitate even a little while thinking about that, don’t do it. That picture of yourself in your undies, that lie about that mean kid down the block will come back to haunt you. I promise.
Respect other people’s privacy as well. You do not have the right to know everything about anyone, even your very best friend or your brother or sister. Everyone has the right to keep something to him or herself, unless keeping it a secret will hurt someone else or allow something bad to keep happening.
Learning
Never, ever stop learning. You will find that learning is not something that happens in a classroom. The classroom is where you learn how to learn. Every book you read for fun, everything that happens to you, everything you do or watch others do, and everything happening in the world every day has something to teach you. Take the time and thought to figure out what you have learned and remember it. It will come in unbelievably handy later on.
Courage
Just like with kindness, there are two types of courage, this time, physical and moral. The second one is a lot harder but also a lot more important. Physical courage is about what you do with your body. Try to exceed what you think you can do, run faster than you think you can, climb higher, last longer. Don’t be afraid of some pain, but listen to it. Pain is your body telling you that you have pushed hard enough. But each time you push, the pain starts a little later.
Moral courage involves kindness, but also doing things that make you uncomfortable in your mind rather than your body. If you say something that you know to be right but other people think is wrong, they will try to change your mind. For instance, if there is a kid in your class who is very different from the others and the other kids make fun of him for it, you know that is wrong, and you can say so. They will laugh at you, and it will hurt, but you will be right. And the hurt that you feel will be a little less each time you practice this. Another way you can show moral courage is to admit when you are wrong. Stubbornly insisting you are correct, even when you begin to know you are wrong, might feel like you are defending yourself, but you are actually defending a wrong idea. Wrong ideas are responsible for a lot of bad things in the world. Start practicing now. When you realize you are wrong, just say so, and move on. It actually makes you look stronger in the long run.
Common sense
The problem with common sense is that it is so very uncommon. Every day, people do things that they might not have done if they had stopped to think about it for a minute. Drunk driving falls into this category, but you are still too young to make this mistake. Very simply, do not do things that put you or other people in danger. Rock climbing with adults, wearing your harness, and with safety rules is wonderful. Doing it alone, without proper equipment, and where no one will see you is just plain stupid. Persuading your friends to do dangerous things is actually worse. You would be responsible for his or her death or injury, and you would feel bad for the rest of your life. It’s easier to use your common sense.
Saving your money, within reason, is also part of common sense. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t treat yourself to something really cool once in a while. You need to have fun and have a certain number of really cool things. But if you spend all of your money on cool stuff, when you need it for something really important, it won’t be there. Once it’s gone, it’s gone, and it will take a long time to save it again. Have fun, but use your common sense. And remember to save some to put in the tzedakah box.
* * * * * * *
First draft. It gives me something to think about and to work on this coming winter. I imagine I’ll revise it as the kids grow, add new ideas and change the language. If you have some ethics you would like to pass to the next few generations, please share.
via JREF Forum http://forums.randi.org/showthread.php?t=269102&goto=newpost
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